So, I became obsessed with the Lawyer. My cousins and their friends started hanging out with him once I left- I had kind of asked them to. He was initially enthusiastic about trying to keep in touch but this slowly waned off without any explanation. I was very confused. He told my cousin that he didn’t see a future with me since we lived so far away and I didn’t have any plans of moving closer, neither did he. I told him about a possible job opportunity for myself in his town. There was little to no reaction. He stopped replying to my messages.
About ten minutes ago, my cousin told me that she suspects that he is interested in her. Well… that would definitely explain why he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.
I am utterly broken. I can’t believe I let myself fall into this hopeless situation.
Just when I think I’m good enough for a guy like him, I get passed over for someone else.
I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to feel. I am numb.
G/W
24. Single. Virgin. This is my journey from 200 lbs to 125 lbs. Floating through the masses, trying to find love, beauty, the meaning of life... and maybe even myself.
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This reminds me of what happened with Pale Blue Eyes…the strange thing is why he “avoided” me for quite some time, but still kept in touch when he was back in town. However, the reason why he did that is much more legitimate (I will probably one day discuss that…but he had severe mental health issues…nothing mainstream like anxiety or depression, and his actions were based on protecting his own feelings as well as mine). I can totally relate to falling for someone who does not care, but claims to like you back. As you recommended to me when I talked about Pale Blue Eyes for the first time about 2 years ago…move on. Do something that makes you happier, a better person, someone you are proud to be. While I am in quite a transitory phase in my life, I am sort of grateful for the friends I picked up along the way. I am less afraid of the future…This romance stuff can be such an impediment to your own personal goals. I think it’s the best to focus on those at our age….for optimum happiness in the long run.
(Insert Lawyer Joke here).
That guy is so not worth your thoughts. Good luck to you in your transitions and goals.
You put yourself out there and you tried. Give yourself some credit!
Just because it ended doesn’t mean it failed. Whether you know it now or not, you learned someone about yourself from him. May seem cliche but it’s true!
This kinda sounds like that one movie…I forget the name. Thanks for writing!
Thanks for your comments guys. You’re right. I did try. Putting myself out there was a good lesson.
He has tried to get in touch with me again. I still talk to him from time to time but I’m trying to remain as level-headed as I can about the situation,