The Sweet Life

So, here I am, in the United Kingdom- land of tea, crumpets and the Queen.
I’ve already made a good friend and have been introduced to a some cute postgraduates. I’m also becoming increasingly interested in the guy living next door. I can hear him and his music through my wall but I’ve never seen him (despite opportunistic peeping under my door every time I hear him shuffle off). Is this intrigue normal?
As for Frodo, we hung out a few times before I left. He was messaging and emailing me frequently- he even came over to my best friend’s house to hang out with me and my crew even though he didn’t know one person there.
I was very skeptical about the whole situation (in my mind, he was just flattering his own ego by keeping in touch with me), however, my friends are all convinced that he really really likes me. I can’t believe it… but I wouldn’t believe it if it were true in any case..
Anyway, on my last night, he drove me home and walked me to my door. I thought he was going in for a kiss (maybe he was?) but I hugged him. He kissed me on the cheek, told me to come home for Christmas and left.
I haven’t heard from him since apart from random facebook ‘likes.’ It’s been six days since I’ve arrived. I’m thinking about sending him an email about a film he asked me to watch. I do think about him a lot.
I’m trying not to but I’ve had such great conversations with him about life, death, meaning and other things that I cannot forget. I can see his faults though- he’s too ambitious, too self-serving, too much of a shark.
But he can appreciate life. He knows a good thing when he sees it. He is driven. He wants to perform to his best ability because that is what gives his life meaning. I love how sure he is of himself. I love being around him.
I don’t know what to do about him. I can’t think of whether I should email him or whether I should wait for him to contact me. Either way, I’m not interested in playing games- I want to be able to talk to him even if he isn’t interested in me romantically, I have learned so so much from him and I’ve been honest with him in a way that I’ve never been to anyone. For instance, he is well aware that I’m a virgin. I blurted it out when we were drunk last year.
I don’t know how I feel about that either. I’m not sure if he remembers but how can you not?
There are men from all over the world here- but I feel myself shrinking every time one matches my gaze. I’m reverting back to old G/W. Next time, I tell myself. Next time I’ll smile. Next time, when my dress is prettier. Next time, when my hair looks better.
It’s funny how I’m, currently, a mature young 125 lbs woman but I feel like revert back to the insecure, 200 lbs, 21-year-old I used to be. The one who felt unattractive no matter what.
I need to break out of this. I am. I can. I will.
Anyway, other than that, it is absolutely ridiculous here. The Brits likes to get drunk and sing. Frequently and loudly. Usually under my window.
Hope you’re all taking care of yourself
EDIT: So I e-mailed Frodo and he replied back with a long message in less than two hours. I’m trying to figure out how to respond but I have a feeling that my letter will either reach or exceed the length of his.
I tell myself that I have nothing to lose. I don’t. And I haven’t regretted it with him, yet. As much of a go-getter he is, he seems genuinely attracted to my forwardness. Only time will tell.

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