Looks like Vegas again

With the second set of girls… since I left them behind last summer (not my fault they weren’t 21 in time). The little one just turned US-legal so we decided to be sinful for a weekend (like it doesn’t happen every other weekend).
Booked and ready to go. Just need to get through exams first…

Panic at the disco

There was this one time a yearish ago when this guy hit on me. Not like a thehotguy kind of flirtation, this was definitely him hitting on me.
I was sober (as usual) at a club (as usual) laughing at my friends who were drunk and being groped by men (as usual) and this guy approached me (not as usual but it does happen surprisingly frequently) and he was hot (this is the wtf part).
So he asked me if I wanted to dance and I said sure. He pulled me away from them and we started dancing.
And also when I say hot, I don’t mean thehotguy type of model hot, I mean a general kind of hot that any girl would think is hot. Thing is though, he wasn’t really my type- I prefer the Italiany dark talk and handsome guy and this one was- white and bald. But I could feel the muscles in his back. That was sexy.
We were talking, he asked me if I was the DD, I replied with the affirmative. I asked him if he was driving, he said he had DUI so his licence was suspended (what a winner). His breath smelled like stale beer. He was sweet and kind of controlling, the way he was just taking charge of me and I don’t know I guess I like that? But then I bailed.
I excused myself to go “check on my friends” and later on when I saw him coming up to me again, I immediately started rummaging in my purse and looking busy so he left. I later saw him exiting with this other girl who was kind of overweightish (guess he was a chubby chaser?). This has happened a few times since. When someone decent approaches me, I’ll tell them I have to leave or that I have a boyfriend. I used to think of was because I was used to rejecting weirdos that I would reject everyone but that’s not it.
What I find really interesting is how I panic. I reject and then look for them in the crowd. And every time, I pull the same shit.
I used to be so confident and for some reason it’s all gone to hell.
I used to be cool with everyone. Insecure about my weight, sure, but not insecure about myself. I wouldn’t have felt weird conversing with someone. I wonder when that changed.
And I still don’t understand what the hell I’m so afraid of.

The Weather and Vaginas

So my girlfriend called me yesterday and invited me out to this seedy local club that I was going to on Saturday for a birthday anyway. Then she texted me and said it was off. This morning she called and said it was on again. I didn’t go.
It’s surprising because I don’t usually say no to going out. Even if I really don’t feel like it, I still will just… I don’t know. I’m a pushover? I always decide that I’ll have fun somehow or at least end up watching one of my friends hook up with a random and puke on him or something (always a good time).
I’ve just been really exhausted. So instead, I spent the night graphing weather charts. Woo exciting. I don’t know how I figured I could handle these courses. All for University. Who needs school anyway, totally overrated.
I’ve had this ache in my eyeballs for the last few days. I think it’s because of the new contacts I’m trying. I usually sleep in mine, I’m not big on the whole bedtime ritual. At best, I’ll wash my face. Too much effort to take them out. Totally different story when I’m drunk. I’ll just fall asleep on the couch and be discovered by my mom at 6 AM the next morning with racoon eyes and breath that still stinks of rum and happy meals.
Ever notice that hangovers are worse when you sleep on a couch instead of a bed? It’s like your body knows that you were a bloody mess last night and so its going to act like it for the next 48 hours.
On a different note, still relating to the bed, I find this post kind of disturbing. Yay, I’ve had another glad-I’m-a-virgin moment. But when you get down to it, this whole deal is totally unfair.
I’m going to say it in a crude but truthful manner: how come jizz can make the girls stay and pussies can’t keep a man for more than a day?
From an evolutionary standpoint… ok, good for the guys. They had proteins in their semen that kills other men’s sperm (P.S. this would make a good comic strip) but what about women? Shouldn’t we have some crazy man-trapping scheme in our underpants too?  If their genitals are doing so well at spreading seed everywhere, how come our genitals can’t keep our baby-daddies in our houses and paying the bills?
Look, in today’s day and age, the vaginas are very powerful tools. Men spend most of their time thinking about them. And I don’t know who to direct this to (since I’m talking about evolution, I guess I can’t blame God this time) but couldn’t this have been used to our advantage somehow? I’m thinking enzymes that repel penises from any other vag than our own? Maybe a vanilla smell that keeps them coming back for more? Ok, I know I’m bitching about it now but yes, I know the vagina is great blah blah blah but it could be better.
Hopefully, by the time I lose it, somebody will have read this post and I’ll be heading over to buy my own fresh baked cookie vag-scent. Can I get a patent on that?

Music is my drug

I love house music.
It’s so great to dance to it.
The continuous rythm just allows you to let yourself go.
I find it funny that people like popping e and dancing to it. I don’t really see why you need it. Just listening to it makes me feel high. Even when I haven’t been drinking. I feel like nothing matters anymore except the music and how I feel. I don’t know if everyone, or if anyone feels like that but that’s what it’s like for me.
I’m listening to word by chris lake and sebastian leger and I feel like just lying back and going into a trance. I feel hypnotized. I could listen to it all day.