Tag Archives: virgin

We’re a Whale

Sorry about being MIA, guys, exam season, you know?
I stumbled across this really cute/heartbreaking story about a lonely whale. If I was child, the whale’s story would be perfect to turn into an illustrated storybook for me. Thought I’d share…

Song of the Sea, a Cappella and Unanswered
By ANDREW C. REVKIN
Published: December 21, 2004

Imagine roaming the world’s largest ocean year after year alone, calling out with the regularity of a metronome, and hearing no response.

Such, apparently, is the situation faced by a solitary whale, species unknown, that has been tracked since 1992 in the North Pacific by a classified array of hydrophones used by the Navy to monitor enemy submarines.

Advertisement

The animal is called the 52 hertz whale because it makes a distinctive stream of sounds at around that basso profundo frequency, just above the lowest note on a tuba.

Its sonic signature is clearly that of a whale, but nothing like the normal voice of the giant blue or the next biggest species, the fin, or any other whale for that matter, said Mary Ann Daher, a marine biologist at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution on Cape Cod.

Ms. Daher is part of a team built by Dr. William A. Watkins, a pioneer in marine mammal acoustics who died in September, that has spent years trying to eavesdrop on the largely hidden lives of whales.

In the current edition of the journal Deep-Sea Research, members of this team report that all signs are that the sounds come from a single animal, whose movements “appeared to be unrelated to the presence or movement of other whale species.”

The 52 hertz whale may be maturing, since its voice has deepened slightly over time, Ms. Daher said. A gallery of sounds, including the call of 52 hertz, can be heard at www.pmel.noaa.gov/vents/acoustics/spectrograms.html.

Team members and other experts have proposed a host of explanations for the whale sounds, among them that the animal is malformed or, most likely, is a hybrid of a blue whale and another species.

Ms. Daher said that as word of the paper has spread, she has gotten a host of e-mail messages, some from whale lovers lamenting the notion of a lonely heart of the cetacean world. Some messages have come from deaf people speculating that the whale might share their disability.

Dr. Kate Stafford, a researcher at the National Marine Mammal Laboratory in Seattle, said there were reasons to believe that the whale was healthy.

“The fact that this individual has been capable of existing in that harsh environment for at least these 12 years indicates there is nothing wrong with it,” she said. But she agreed that there was something poignant about the finding.

“He’s saying, ‘Hey I’m out here,’ ” she said. “Well, nobody is phoning home.”

‘Virgin’ is a strange word

Virgin. Virgin. Virgin. VIRGIN. Vir-gin. Virg-in.
No, I’m not high. I just spent a lot of time looking through #virgin tweets. When you’re confronted with the same word every 140 characters, you start wondering about it.
I know I can’t be the only one who has thought this.
You know what’s strange though? In the past few years, I have googled the crap out of “virgin” but I’ve never checked out the Wikipedia page for it. The most interesting part is how it alludes to the loss of virginity being the loss of innocence and beginning of sexual maturity. It seems like such an abstract concept because I’m a virgin but I’m anything but innocent and I’m definitely sexually mature.
Other than that, there isn’t a whole lot. The page on involuntary celibacy is much more interesting.

The 30-year-old virgin

I hope some of you managed to catch this episode of Oprah.
Throughout the entire thing, I was kind of like… blah. I could kind of relate to Carmen because her issues are kind of the same as mine (insecurity, body image etc) whereas Shayla was an interesting character because her v-card problem was deeply rooted in her relationship with her parents.
It didn’t help me or tell me anything I didn’t know but I guess a lesson you learn is that us virgins are a diverse bunch of people. Kind of like people who drive hybrid cars or seniors with tattoos… everyone likes to group us together as if we have the same issue that can be solved collectively. It can’t.
It’s true that the things I read on my blogroll do resonate with me to some extent but there’s always little twists that makes their experience uniquely theirs.
There isn’t really a code to cracking a virgin.

This whole like yup-I’m-a-virgin-thing

…has been really getting to me recently.
I’m 21. Isn’t it about time that I go and be sexually active- oh right, I’m against having sex without there being any long-term love/commitment thing going on. Well, how about hooking up? Or hell, even dancing.
I was at a bar this weekend and this reasonably cute guy was trying to dance with me. He was so persistent. I kept giving my girlfriends the no look. They just sat back and gave me satisfied smiles. And he even told me to stop looking at them and to just dance. I was flustered as usual. He was drunk and it’s easy to blame it all on the alcohol. He really wanted to dance with me and I brushed it off. I acted like I had just wanted him to go away.
While I was in Vegas, I was bothered by the fact that all my girlfriends were getting hit on more often than me (you’d think I’d be used to it by now) but it was mostly for their sake. I didn’t want them to think I was their little loser friend that no one wanted. I’m starting to realize that it isn’t the case. My friends see me get hit on enough times and they see me deflect them too. I’m just not the type of girl to get with a guy in a club, or a bar, or anywhere really.
It’s not that I’m not funny or flirty. I can be plenty funny and flirty with my male friends. Just not around people I don’t know.
I thought it was because my standards are too high. Apparently, they’re just as good as any self-respecting girl should have. I’m just defensive. He can’t be good enough or cute enough or charming enough or intelligent enough. And if he is then I’m too fat (or ugly or stupid or uninteresting). And if he is interested, well then… I’m either just fooling myself or there’s something wrong with him.
If the hottest, smartest, funniest guy walked up to me and tried to buy me a drink, I’d make him feel like an idiot. I’m just a freak, I guess. Does this mean I have issues?
I was telling my friend about this (she’s been going out with the same guy since she was 15) and she insisted that I’m normal. She said that if her boyfriend wanted to call it quits, she wouldn’t know how to act around guys. She wouldn’t know how to deal with guys who would approach her.
Yeah okay, that sounds reasonable. If I were to ever date a guy, it would probably have to be someone I was already comfortable with first.
Except here’s my problem…
1) This year, I’ll probably be able to interact in some form or other with about 200 guys while I’m out – maybe out of those guys, half a dozen will be actually interested in me.
2) This year, I’ll probably be able to be truly comfortable around 10 guys maximum in a friend-based setting – if my math is right, about .3% of those 10 will be actually interested in me.
So since my prefered option of meeting a guy (#2) is not going to happen… well, do I really have to force myself to be comfortable around random strangers (#1?). I’ve never had a problem approaching strangers when I’m drunk but I rarely drink and god- it’s always been so awkward in the first place. I don’t want to experiment with yet another night and wake up in the morning wondering wtf was wrong with me last night.
Okay, so where am I going with this? Fine, I’m ready to admit it now because it is actually true.
I want a boyfriend
I’ve started to accept that my stupid asshole sonovabitch highschool crush has a stupid skanky ugly anorexic bitch of a girlfriend.
It’s not revenge. I just feel like I’ve started to accept that it’s not going to work (3 years after graduation, you’d think I’d have figured it out by now). I’m ready to move on with my life. I think. Maybe it’s loneliness? I don’t know what it is.
I just.. I don’t want to want a boyfriend. I’m sick of looking at every guy who spends two minutes talking to me as a “potential”. What the hell, a potential? How desperate is that. I’m not a 67 year old widow.
I just can’t pick out the lesser evil. Wanting a boyfriend and not having a boyfriend? Not wanting a boyfriend and not having a boyfriend?
God, why do boys have to make everything so complicated? And why do I have to keep telling myself it’ll change when I’m thinner. I’m setting myself up for failure right now.
If I never lose the weight, I’m unhappy… if I lose the weight and it doesn’t solve all of life’s problems (which it won’t, obviously), I’m unhappy.
I’m frustrated.
Also because there is another potential who is a good friend and I’m bad at reading signals (or am I?) and he’s seeing someone and I don’t want to ruin it and I don’t even know if he’s actually into me and I keep bombarding him with texts one day then ignoring his texts the next day when I realize how I’m acting and… I’m just a mess basically. If I was him, I’d be confused. If I was him, I don’t know if I’d be into someone like me. Ugh I just don’t know. Okay, that’s it. This is a story for another day.
I wasn’t going to write a blog entry tonight but it’s 4:08 AM and it wanted to come out. I can’t believe I’ve been typing this since 3:07 AM. It does not take this long to type. What is going on in my life?? I need to get it together :(

AdSense: The one way I’m allowed to whore myself out

So I ventured over to my Blog Stats today and I was confused (Most statistics leave me confused, that’s why I’m failing Data Analysis).
On some days, I will get 200 hits and on others I’ll get like 5 (and no, they’re not all me… well, not mostly). And they’re not really structured either. It doesn’t matter whether I post on the day or not, my charts will do whatever they want.
Here is something else that is funny. I figured that most people who click my link are just checking me out because I’ve left a comment on their blogĀ (P.S. I’ll like you better if you leave a link too, I like my stalkerish tendencies). Nope. If you’re here… this is probably why (I say probably also because I can’t figure out anything on the Blog Stats page)…
1) You came through someone who has me on their blogroll
2) You searched for virgin, porn, sex, vagina etc – why do you guys look for this shit on WordPress? What is wrong with you? Ever heard of YouJizz??
3) You searched for House of Virginism – which is a band… yeah, I don’t even want to know (because I’m mostly depressed that I’m not the first one to come up with that word)
5) You searched for “ride it all night long” – seriously, every time I visit my Blog Stats, I see this. And I have a pretty good idea whose looking for it (Yes, I’m looking at you Tom Cochrane. Welcome to the internet.)
Shit. I missed 4.
Here’s four -> “life f***s everyone…so no dies being a”… umm being a what? That’s okay, you can say it. I want to know what exactly you were looking for and what I really want to know is if my blog was of any service in that matter. Seriously, tell me. Don’t be intimidated by my cutting remarks and master shut-downs (shut up, asshole). Who the fuck ever came up with that phrase? Life fucks everyone so no one dies a virgin? Oh hey, I feel better already. Even if I never have sex, I’ll still be done up the ass because life is a bitch. Always looks for the bright side kids.
So this blog was originally used to comment on people. I made it to be a diary of sorts for myself. And since I’m hardcore, I decided to register my blog with a bunch of blogsites. Yeah, why not, lets do it up. Hint: They don’t work. I don’t even know why I keep the links on (I probably don’t know how or I keep forgetting… like I’m going to forget now). But what is this obsession with blog hits? Unless you have ads on your page, why do you care? Yeah, it’s probably something technical so don’t explain it to me but fyi, I’m not trying to get you to stop worrying about blog stats.
I want to you to abuse them. Go ahead, rape your blog stats. Get some of those google ads (and I’m not just encouraging you because I’ll probably be heading down that road). In fact, paste them everywhere. Everywhere. If Bollywood can make money spraying random shit all over their work, why can’t you? If anyone is stupid enough to click one of those links, why shouldn’t you get money for it? And why don’t I practice what I preach?
Because if I had AdSense, I know exactly what would end up on my page “I lost 145 pounds by having crazy sex 24/7″ “I’m a size five after pregnancy because of HubaLube” “I’m skinny now and I’m fucking like a rabbit on speed” “Viagra saved my balls”. Like I need a quicker way to lose my mind.

Edit: I wanted to add this because I thought it was noteworthy…
Whoever searched for “youjizz.virgin” this morning, please stand up.

To be or not to be, that is the virgin

I was talking to my friend today and she told me that she admired me for being a virgin. She’s one of those girls who absently passed off her v-card or misplaced it. She’s one of the ones who wished she’d never done it.
I told her not to bother with it. The concept of virginity is overrated. No one is really sure what it means anyway. Is it a symbol of purity? Is it proof that your woman isn’t cheating on you with another man? Is it the hymen being fully intact?
Well no. Not all virgins are innocent, I’m a classic case. There are other ways to cheat than just intercourse. There are women born without a hymen and have never had sex. Exceptions to the rule? More liked evidence that the idea is flawed.
My friend was totally wasted and had sex. Doesn’t remember any of it. Is she a virgin?
Another friend has done everything, and I mean everything with her boyfriend, but actual intercourse. Is she a virgin?
And what if a girl deflowers herself? Is she a virgin?
I’m not even going to start on male virginity.
Virginity is elusive. No one has really figured out a universal definition for It. In most cases, I’m a virgin. In practically all cases, I’m a virgin.
It doesn’t mean anything.
What about when the deed is done. Is there something felt that signifies the transition? A way to know if you are one or not? A revelation? An epiphany?
Well, hell if I know, I’m the virgin here.